Okay, I know. Shocking title. You are probably thinking ” Pfft! What is she talking about? We love our clothes. We are not going to downsize!”. Let me say really quick, this is not that kind of a post. Difficult times call for a more up – front approach; So, today, we are speaking truths, kicking our insecurities to the curb and showering ourselves with a freeing happiness. In a way, we are throwing away the clothes or layers, for a better word, and getting deeper in the concept of acceptance and the psychological need of belongingness. (Right in the feels, much?)
Someone reminded me today that no matter who we think we are, there is more to it than what the eye can see. Maybe, even more than we realize. But, we can only reach our full potential, if we embrace the person we have become. On my last post Own your body, I shared with you a small exercise that you could do in front of your mirror and would be able to help with seeing yourself as the majestic being you are. Yes, you are! Stop arguing! I am overwhelmed and so grateful for all the response I have gotten. This is the true testament of the reason I am writing and why I chose this particular subject. It is a great journey so far and I cannot wait to see where it is headed. Most importantly, I am at my happy place, because it has even the slightest (good) impact in your lives. It’s always baby steps, but look at how grant you feel!
Some might be wondering, what difference does it make? It’s just a post. Who is going to pay attention to it and why? Surprise! Like everything else we have to start from somewhere. It is a work in progress and these things take, unfortunately, time. There is a certain mindset that has hurt the way we perceive our images. Take social media, for instance. Even though it is a place where your voice could be heard in the variety of virtual walls, it has sculpted our opinions into thinking if we are unique, we have to be some sort of an outcast. Why? What is the psychological need for such purpose? We have created those “stands” and labels and decided to place ourselves in them. Embrace yourself. Psychological approach is coming! No, not winter; it’s finally spring thank God, but fellow nerd, thank you for laughing.
It is normal to feel the need to psychologically categorize yourself. The craving for belonging and acceptance by somebody you can relate to, is very common, as well. Abraham Maslow, actually, has the hierarchy of needs (in a pyramid) and it specifically names it as part of the human motivation. Love and the need to be a part of something (a group, a team etc) fall under the category of social needs. Since, humans are sociable beings, you could easily understand its importance. The following picture of the pyramid is from this link, that will take to an article, if you desire to extend your knowledge on the matter. A little Maslow never hurt anyone.
But, what happens when you fall out of place? Let alone when you are getting hurt by the “clique” you thought you belonged to? What happens to the girl that got acne and now her friends are making comments behind her back? Or maybe to the boy that got a few extra pounds and doesn’t feel like himself anymore? Why is it scary to feel that your peers are not going to accept who you are or have become?
It all starts with accepting yourself. Realizing that you are gorgeous inside and out, no matter what. The goal is self actualization. Reaching the point, where you are not just content on how you look or feel, but you are proud. That is when no one’s opinion will cause you grief. Because being yourself is fantastic. Aspire to be free of such closed minds and expand your understanding. You have a purpose in life. Follow it. Wear your scars gracefully, your body and soul fashionably and throw away the clothes. Throw your layers of pain and sadness away. Destroy your fear of looking at yourself in the mirror. Know that you are wrong, if you believe no one sees your beauty; inner and outside. Last, but not least; Change your attitude. Be happy with your image and find what makes you truly peaceful. It might be a long walk, full of rocky roads; but when you get to the top of the mountain you will see the sunshine over the horizon, darling.
I can only hope to become an advocate for a positive body image lifestyle and fashion, in life. Maybe, this is my purpose. Through everything that has happened to me, I see it as a way of accepting me, myself and I. Who else better to love you, if not your own being?!