Okay, I know. Shocking title. You are probably thinking ” Pfft! What is she talking about? We love our clothes. We are not going to downsize!”. Let me say really quick, this is not that kind of a post. Difficult times call for a more up – front approach; So, today, we are speaking truths, kicking our insecurities to the curb and showering ourselves with a freeing happiness. In a way, we are throwing away the clothes or layers, for a better word, and getting deeper in the concept of acceptance and the psychological need of belongingness. (Right in the feels, much?)
Someone reminded me today that no matter who we think we are, there is more to it than what the eye can see. Maybe, even more than we realize. But, we can only reach our full potential, if we embrace the person we have become. On my last post Own your body, I shared with you a small exercise that you could do in front of your mirror and would be able to help with seeing yourself as the majestic being you are. Yes, you are! Stop arguing! I am overwhelmed and so grateful for all the response I have gotten. This is the true testament of the reason I am writing and why I chose this particular subject. It is a great journey so far and I cannot wait to see where it is headed. Most importantly, I am at my happy place, because it has even the slightest (good) impact in your lives. It’s always baby steps, but look at how grant you feel!
Some might be wondering, what difference does it make? It’s just a post. Who is going to pay attention to it and why? Surprise! Like everything else we have to start from somewhere. It is a work in progress and these things take, unfortunately, time. There is a certain mindset that has hurt the way we perceive our images. Take social media, for instance. Even though it is a place where your voice could be heard in the variety of virtual walls, it has sculpted our opinions into thinking if we are unique, we have to be some sort of an outcast. Why? What is the psychological need for such purpose? We have created those “stands” and labels and decided to place ourselves in them. Embrace yourself. Psychological approach is coming! No, not winter; it’s finally spring thank God, but fellow nerd, thank you for laughing.
It is normal to feel the need to psychologically categorize yourself. The craving for belonging and acceptance by somebody you can relate to, is very common, as well. Abraham Maslow, actually, has the hierarchy of needs (in a pyramid) and it specifically names it as part of the human motivation. Love and the need to be a part of something (a group, a team etc) fall under the category of social needs. Since, humans are sociable beings, you could easily understand its importance. The following picture of the pyramid is from this link, that will take to an article, if you desire to extend your knowledge on the matter. A little Maslow never hurt anyone.
But, what happens when you fall out of place? Let alone when you are getting hurt by the “clique” you thought you belonged to? What happens to the girl that got acne and now her friends are making comments behind her back? Or maybe to the boy that got a few extra pounds and doesn’t feel like himself anymore? Why is it scary to feel that your peers are not going to accept who you are or have become?
It all starts with accepting yourself. Realizing that you are gorgeous inside and out, no matter what. The goal is self actualization. Reaching the point, where you are not just content on how you look or feel, but you are proud. That is when no one’s opinion will cause you grief. Because being yourself is fantastic. Aspire to be free of such closed minds and expand your understanding. You have a purpose in life. Follow it. Wear your scars gracefully, your body and soul fashionably and throw away the clothes. Throw your layers of pain and sadness away. Destroy your fear of looking at yourself in the mirror. Know that you are wrong, if you believe no one sees your beauty; inner and outside. Last, but not least; Change your attitude. Be happy with your image and find what makes you truly peaceful. It might be a long walk, full of rocky roads; but when you get to the top of the mountain you will see the sunshine over the horizon, darling.
I can only hope to become an advocate for a positive body image lifestyle and fashion, in life. Maybe, this is my purpose. Through everything that has happened to me, I see it as a way of accepting me, myself and I. Who else better to love you, if not your own being?!
Stay fashionable,
Kallia Manika,
Its really important to accept yourself! I really like how easy it was for me to understand the Maslow pyramid.I love this post.
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Thank you for commenting, dear! You are right. Accepting who you are is the ultimate goal! Very glad it reached you and liked it 🙂
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Having reached the wise stage in my life (old) I can tell you that not accepting yourself results only in hurting yourself. Your weight and your looks will change many,many times. None of those things will be the things that make you happy. Finding belonging is hard! When you are living authentic the right people will gravitate to you.
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Precisely! Taking even a moment from your day to make yourself feel bad, is time wasted! Thank you for commenting heidi! 🙂
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It is very true what you say – these layers of pain and sadness only make one’s life more difficult and sad…
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Thank you for commenting, Maria. It takes time, but if you throw away the layers of these “clothes”, it is so liberating!!
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Absolutely!
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Such a well written post! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts because this definitely struck a chord with me. Sometimes I doubt myself and think I’m not good enough, and it takes a lot to remind myself that I am. Really glad that I found your blog. Thank you!
Sarah xx
http://www.thingssarahloves.co.uk
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Thank you very much, Sarah! I am so glad you liked it!!! When I hear comments like yours, they remind me of the reason I am doing this and to always push forward! Have a wonderful day and always remember you are beautiful inside and out!!
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Some great advice, thanks for writing such a well written, meaningful post
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Thank you for your comment! Glad you liked it!!
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Well written post and some very helpful advice! Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you very much! Glad you liked it!!
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This is true! I didn’t know that it was called ‘self actualization’, but I understand now what you meant with “throw away your clothes”. Everyone should accept him or herself 🙂 We are all beautiful people!
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Thank you very much! Exactly! I am studying Psychology (among other things haha) and I thought that it would be awesome to put together some knowledge and help!
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I remember Mallow’s Pyramid from psychology class.I enjoyed reading this post. Really creative title!!
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Thank you Lena! I am very glad you enjoyed it!
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Self acceptance is very important !
<3: Jasmin N
Little Things With Jassy
Bloglovin’
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Thank you for commenting jasmine! 🙂
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I loved this post. I’m going to check out your body image post next. ❤️
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Thank you lauren! I hope it speaks to you and helps you 🙂
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Ah, I remember studying the “hierarchy of needs pyramid” in college. Accepting myself is one of the hardest things to do because I always want to improve. As well as learning my purpose in life. Learning to be content is what I’m currently working on. Very deep, great post!
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Thank you very much Ashlyn. It’s a work in progress and the ultimate goal is so sweet and freeing! Never stop trying and never give up!
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The journey of self love is very difficult but even more fulfilling 🙂
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Yes Ruxandra! Exactly! But it feels so good!!!
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Self love is soooooo important and it’s the key for many things! When I started to love my imperfections, I became a different person!
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Yes. Everyone is different and I love it! Thank you for commenting, dear!
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I remember the song of late Whitney Houston (which is sang before by George Benson) Greatest love of all, the lyrics says, “Learning to love yourself it is the greatest love all” I guess that’s say it all. Lovely post! Inspiring and encouraging at the same time.
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Thank you very much for your kind words!! The lyrics are hitting the mark haha!
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I fee like in this day and age people find it so hard to accept themselves and are constantly comparing themselves to others. There is some great advice here and such a lovely written post.
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Thank you Hannah. I strive to make it interesting and educational, as well. Very glad you liked it!!
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Very uplifting and powerful post. I think it’s important for us to accept ourselves for how we are, we all have a bit of magic in us. Very talented writer.
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Thank you so very much, Kerry!!! Grateful you stopped by and commented! Best wishes!
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Yep! Writen beautifully! Keep thinking and doing it all like that!
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Thank you for commenting and liking my post! Have a great day!
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Wow look at all these engaged readers! You are providing support people struggling with body image.
Congratulations on being Danny Ray’s featured blogger. I was his featured blogger too! Maybe you can check out my blog if you need a blogging tip or two. That’s what I write about.
Janice
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I would love to stop by your blog! you say I was featured? Would you be so kind to please send me ( comment) the link? I had no idea! And thank you so very much for your nice words!
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I am sorry carrier,
I think I deleted the post. However, you were featured this week on dream big, dream often blog. I will look forward to your visit.
Janice
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No problem, thank you very much!! Have a wonderful day
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I am sorry your name got spelled wrong on your site. Feel free to delete it or fix it. I am dictating on my phone, Kallia.
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Yes a lot of people hide themself behind cool, sexy or whatever they want to show. But once we are naked we are feel so vulnerable. When we have no clothes to hide behind we show the world that this is real me, this is who I am…can get quite scary! But at the end, its just body. Its not who we are…who we really are is inside of you.
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Thank you for your comment!
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Very true. Well written. It is always good to accept yourself because it will make you much happier in life.
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Thank you!
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Very well written.. Those inspiring words hit me. Everyone should learn to embrace his/her true self and also learn to see what’s more inside you. Maybe you think that you have done enough, but sometimes we just need motivation and the love so we could also share what’s deep inside us.
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Exaclty! Thank you for your comment!
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Great post. I have done a lot of mirror work and now really love my body. I am now wearing clothes that show off my body as I have worked hard to get this bikini body.
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Good job!! Keep up the good vibes!
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Throw away clothes — that’s a creative way of saying let go of your insecurities. Just last night I was pondering about acceptance — whether in the workplace or among our friends — and realized that the best approach is really to just don’t care since we cannot please everybody, no matter how hard we try or no matter how we adjust to them.
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That’s one way to see thing! Thank you for your comment!
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What an inspiring post. We all need to remove layers of negativity in our lives!
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I agree with the Maslow theory of ‘needs’ and like you said we do have a psychological mechanism of categorizing ourselves. I often struggle with accepting who I am as a person but every day I try a little harder to love the body I have been born in x
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Keep it up! I struggle daily, but I always try to remind myself that we have purpose on this earth and we should love everything about it!
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I’ve never thought of breaking down what motivates me into different categories but it makes sense! I think everything is connected so when one category is threatened, it’s easy to feel like you’re off balance. I’ve had so many days where I didn’t hit a goal I set for myself, which made me feel less confident in comparison to someone else who did.
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I do it all the time, also! It can be hard, but we need to remember we are only human!
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This is such a beautiful and important post. Body confidence is such a HUGE issue and I’m so glad to see someone actively trying to tackle it. Thank you.
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