Words can have a bigger impact than most people understand. Is your voice used for good?
People have asked me in the past, “how can a plus size girl be fashionable? How do you find clothes in your size and do you actually choose or grab whatever it fits?”
Yes, those were real life questions I had to deal with and in a way I still do. They would pay attention at was I was wearing and would use my fashion statement against me, like an inverted armor that fights me from the inside out. They would notice little things, such as the layers I love to wear or big coats and they would mention things like “Oh, I see you follow these rules, because you try to hide your body. Good job!” They would alter something so innocent to something with a malicious intent. It didn’t matter they were making an “effort” to be nice; Their words cut deeply.
I am not going to lie, at the time, it was insulting, distasteful, I felt that my personal space was invaded and I was mocked. At first, I experienced anger and I found myself taking a defensive mode, like I was compelled to answer to the ridiculousness and the ridicule. It took me a long time, I spent a lot of it arguing and building walls, but in the end I followed what my mama taught me instead and raised above it. You see, when you allow people to have such a strong hold of you, even though it’s only by words, you eventually lose energy and are filled with all the negative energy afterwards. I took my path and instead, I decided to educate them. It felt liberating to me that I could do something actively, other than constantly defending myself and feeling numb or empty. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t say that you shouldn’t fight against those remarks. I am saying that for me, I wanted to make an impact in a different way. Through my words and my point of view, I wish to be an advocate for all those that have no voice, or they are too tired to fight, because I have been there. Out of necessity I had to change and adapt. I can only hope that I will become someone that can make a difference. It wasn’t easy and I still fail to follow my own rules many times, but for me it’s worth it.
The change has to be all of us, one person at a time and truthfully it is of extreme importance. So, here is a little life lesson for everyone that thinks it’s ok to ask questions like these. Think before you ask. Ask yourself are you truly trying to find an answer or are you aiming to deliberately hurt the person you’re about to ask? I can stand tall and I can clap back with a smile on my face, but what happens when you ask these questions to a 13 year old child that cannot fight back? How about the young person with an actual medical condition? Or someone that has been prescribed medicine for his mental health and one of the side effects are weight gain? Be a human and strive to be humane. Look past the body, the scars, the outside. We are so much more. Why such a need to stay on the surface? Maybe you should reflect and figure out why you react that way. What is the root of it all? Are you being a bully or just insensitive? Sometimes, we voice things, that we do not realize that can inflict pain. It might not be physical, but it still tangible. But, most importantly, if you find yourself guilty of anything like this, would you change your ways?
My winter look is a part of me that in the past I would hide. I would allow the people behind the questions to guide me through a cave of darkness and hide from the world. But, my look is ever evolving, alongside my mindset and my attitude. Besides, it would be so boring to stay the same. I love black clothes, not because they might make me look thinner, but because the lack of light reflecting on my clothes is appealing to me. I enjoy layers and scarfs, because as an artist I love complex, minimalism was never my strong suit; not because I am hiding something or behind them. I adore pictures, the concept fascinates me, a tiny moment locked forever as a memory you can always return to. I enjoy taking pictures and I take pride in being in them. My purses are my passion. Ssshhh, don’t ask how many I own! But, I don’t like them because they take away from the “problem” area, they enhance all my curves and all of me. There, I said it. I am not going to apologize for what I like and what I don’t. There is not an underlying reason and I joyfully don’t follow rules, I am being me and you should to. Here are some pictures that a plus size girl happily took in the snow, as her winter look, not caring about your rules. Hair flying everywhere, lovely coat and boots and a gorgeous Steve Madden purse, while wearing a scarf she repurposed and Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. Bonus points for the scarf and the sweater that are the softest thing in the world! I promised you a winter look from a positive point of view. I am not perfect, nor I strive to be. These pictures were taken with a positve mindset and that is what makes a difference. That is the way I will fight against mean remarks and efforts to bring me down. With a smile, one day at a time.Pin here: